I don’t typically get too personal here, but I had a horrible weekend. My dog, Princess, who I have loved like my own child for the past 16 years, died.  It wasn’t completely out of the blue, but we were still not ready when the horrible event took place.

Since Sunday, I’ve been asked by a few people if we will get another dog, and I’ve whole heartedly said “No.”  Partly because it’s way to soon to even think about it. I truly am grieving over her, the house feels empty and my heart aches constantly.  However, another part of me said no because I don’t want to go through this ever again.  She is the third dog I’ve loved and lost in my lifetime. The first two were childhood pets. I just don’t think I can do this again.

Then I saw this weeks prompt. Today is the first time I’ve really been online since the horrible event. It got me thinking.

The past is where you learned the lesson. I learned to love unconditionally a dog that could not speak to me but said volumes with every snuggle, lick, and glare. (She didn’t like it when I woke her up in the morning to go potty- or when I pulled the covers from under her so I could get a blanket to lay under- in my own bed.).

This is a lesson that I can apply again in the future, if I don’t give up in this middle.

It might seem odd to you if you aren’t a dog lover (or a cat lover). It might even seem a stretch for this weeks prompt, but it actually did help me.  Princess may be gone, and it hurts like fucking hell right now, but each day is a bit better and someday maybe I could see my way to allowing another dog into my heart.  But today I just need to focus on not giving up.

This is the middle. The shitty ass middle, where I cry at night because she’s not in our bed and cry in the morning because I don’t have to wake her up to go potty. (I had a whole ritual. She was awake, but wouldn’t want to get up- so she’d watch me get dressed with one eye open on the bed, and when I was all ready- I’d yell ‘Good morning, Princess!’ and run across the room, jump on the bed, pulling her into a hug, where I would kiss her and hug her. And she would look disgruntled and irritated. But she loved it.)

Lounging with her Daddy. (Her favorite human)

The morning glare I spoke of.

Now go read some upbeat, sexy stuff!